she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
