So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
