I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
