I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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