I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
