That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
