Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Is it because I queefed?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
