So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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