Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
