I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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