I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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