I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
