Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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