Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
