mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
