man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
