There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
