I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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