It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
