In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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