I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
