we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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