Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
