It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
