its not stalking. its research.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
sex in a hospital.. check
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
