K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
