You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
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I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
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If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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