mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
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Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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