I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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