My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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