I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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