dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
