no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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