Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
