They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize