My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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