Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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