Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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