Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
