too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
