I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
