Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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