girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Alive.
So much puke
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
