Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize