Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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