I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
