YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
