if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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