i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
