I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
and you fell through a lawn chair
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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