dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
