his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
