Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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