I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
