I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
