I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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