Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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