Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
