I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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